Uh oh, you guys! Grandma just said “sucking a d—-.” Yes she did.
Posts Published April 2012
If we’ve learned anything from Night of the Lepus, it’s that giant animals, no matter how cuddly, are terrifying. How scary would it be if the animals weren’t so cuddly? It’d probably be the most horrific thing you’ve ever seen. Rats! Wasps! Chickens? Unsuspecting people are stuck fighting all of these in the nature-fights-back movie, The Food of the Gods from 1976, a film based on a novel by sci-fi maestro H.G. Wells and directed by animals-climbing-on-models maestro Bert I. Gordon. This is a film that’s scares are equaled only by its silliness.
Just when I thought that image macros were a dying medium, this meme comes along and makes me laugh uncontrollably. Also, I’m 12.
Sometimes you’ve got to take a long hard look at yourself. And not just in the “Should I do a juice cleanse?” kind of way. More along the lines of “I’m in a relationship and I want to make sure I’m still being a human. A good one.” Here’s a quick/not Myers-Briggs way to self-assess:
Hi Max! You were born about a week ago and I accompanied you on your first walk yesterday. It’s pretty great being a baby! You’re not even an ugly baby so that’s awesome! Good job! You should probably just focus on eating and pooping for the next decade or so, but when you decide to jump on the sapience bandwagon I’ve got some advice for you — because my miserable life is full of regrets, and that’s what advice is! When you take advice from people older than you it’s like you get to have the wisdom of regrets without actually having to make the accompanying mistakes. So listen up!
Excited for The Avengers? So am I. This week I taught my son how to be a super hero.
No type of facial hair is more controversial than the mustache, or moustache depending on how awesome you are. Throughout the years, mustaches have conveyed everything from porn star, to child molester, to police officer, to lumberjack. Can a strip of hair on a guy’s lip really be both feared and trusted? Of course it can! Television has supplied us with hundreds of epic mustachios over the years, but 11 stand head and shoulders above the rest. Here are: THE 11 GREATEST MUSTACHES IN TV HISTORY!
Everybody loves to pretend they know what wine is supposed to taste like. “Woody” and “nutty” are not things I’d like to hear when describing a beverage, but who am I to judge. Wine has always been a big thing in Europe, however, specifically France. They love the stuff; drink it like it’s water. It’d sure be a shame if something infected the wine and made people sick, wouldn’t it? Maybe even turn them into puss-spewing, murderous zombies. This is exactly what happens in Jean Rollin’s 1978 slow-paced gorefest: Les Raisins de la Mort, or to us ‘mericans: The Grapes of Death.