Modern Primate

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Posts Published June 2012

  1. httal-oreo

    Women take snacking very, very seriously.  Before we put anything in our mouths, we always ask, “Does this align with our values? Our family values?” (Reminder: all women are mothers.) Well, that answer was a strong, “NO!” when we came across this little gem from the Nabisco family… pfff family. No family company would ever make something like this:

    You guys, it’s a rainbow Oreo cookie! Are you freaked out yet? Why aren’t you freaked out yet?! Don’t you know what this means? Rainbow = Gay. Gay = Rainbow. Rainbow Oreo = Gay Oreo. Gay Oreo = Gay Snacking. You are what you eat. You eat that Oreo and you’re going to become a gay. *slaps cookie out of hand* Don’t eat that! That’s how they get you! Phew. Okay, listen, if you want to keep you, your lady and your children safe: Never taste the rainbow. 

    Luckily, this was just a temporary photoshopped stunt, so Oreos are safe for consumption again… but what about the foods that are always rainbowed?

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  2. merida2

    Disney/Pixar’s newest offering, Brave, was one of the most highly-anticipated, non-sequel, childrens’ films I can remember.  While the avalanche of pre-release buzz may merely be the current status quo of web-based marketing (witness: The Hunger Games, Prometheus, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, etc.), the anticipation hinged largely on this film being Pixar’s first release with a female protagonist AND a Disney Princess™ film that features a strong female lead.  Many film critics, along with parents like myself who would prefer our daughters not sit around crocheting doilies, practicing etiquette, and learning subservience until a suitable husband comes along, had hopes that this would finally be the movie that broke away from the narrowly envisioned, patriarchy-reinforcing, and traditionalism of past Disney princesses.

    So, does Brave‘s portrayal of Princess Merida really stand as a revolutionary, groundbreaking moment for Disney that will usher in a new era of strong female characters and empowering stories?  Not really.

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  3. thats the joke buzzfeed

    After “Obamacare” was upheld this morning, BuzzFeed published a list of tweets from angry folks saying they were moving to Canada. Oh, the irony! You couldn’t write a better joke! Right?

    Actually you can, and at least half of those people were kidding.

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  4. Saban is bringing back My Pet Monster. If you don’t remember My Pet Monster then you’re too young to ever talk about nostalgia.

  5. elmo

    Among New York’s various street performers there’s a certain illegal profession that goes unregulated – counterfeit Sesame Street Mascots.

    Pay a visit to Central Park, Times Square, or any of the big touristy landmarks and you’ll likely spot half a dozen adults wearing head-to-toe knockoff Elmo and Cookie Monster costumes soliciting hugs and tips. While this technically constitutes copyright and trademark violation, there are too many of these frauds to do much about it.

    Adam Sandler (AKA Dan Sandler) former proprietor of the Cambodian sex slave webcam site “Welcome to Rape Camp” is one such unlicensed Elmo giving hugs to New York’s children. I only wish I was kidding about this.

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  6. Paul Rudd: No human being can resist being attracted to Paul Rudd’s sarcastic depression and uncontrollable sweetness. He is like Holden Caulfield for an era that is addicted to Vanilla Coke. You and your boyfriend will get married.

    Becky Lang cracks wise on man-crushes for The Tangential.

  7. Most of the time, I like bad pop music. Usually, the more a song sounds like another old hit, the more I appreciate it for being an example of a band doing what works. I really don’t care so much about pop music that’s derivative of other pop music, because at one point or another all of it is.

    But I really don’t like this band Train. Like, at all. It’s not that I think what they’ve done to The Wallflowers’ “One Headlight” is a travesty. No. I just dislike Train for a half dozen other reasons that I lay out in this video.


  8. “what at least some people who say they miss post-war America seem to be forgetting is that a lot of America’s early prosperity was created using racism, sexism, and oppression of all kinds as building blocks. Factories used to be able to pump out product at unprecedented rates because they employed expendable children who worked to total exhaustion.”

    Cord Jefferson, writing some honest and awesome things about Mad Men for Gawker.

  9. In case you haven’t been watching these yet, you should know that Mike Rugnetta, Kornhaber Brown, and PBS Arts are putting out some seriously smart, funny, and — actually, kind of thought-provoking videos with this Idea Channel series.


  10. MarvinGaye

    A couple of weeks ago, I took it upon myself to answer rhetorical questions posed by pop music. Well, after that, I had an influx of unanswered song questions e-mailing me, calling me at all hours of the night, and knocking on my door, disrupting my beauty sleep. So, to appease these abstract concepts, I’m back to answer some more rhetorical questions from popular music.

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