Modern Primate

man, that's deep

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Posts Published September 2012

  1. gangnam snl

    Geoffrey, can you come in here for a minute?

    - Yes.

    Geoffrey, I’ve got this problem. It’s about Gangnam Style.

    - Gangnam Style is huge! Don’t tell me you’ve got a problem with Gangnam Style.

    Well… I mean, it’s well-produced. And I get that it’s supposed to be humorous. But like, I don’t know anything about the Gangnam District. I’ve never been to South Korea. I don’t speak Korean. So when I watch the video, like, I feel like I’m missing most of what’s going on.

    - Why should that matter? Did you see the SNL sketch? Read More »

  2. Yesterday was the first day I didn’t have to clean up any pee since adopting Nathan. He learned the word “pee” on the first day. He learned the word “outside” on the first day. He learned that when he goes pee outside he gets treats, and that when he goes pee inside he doesn’t. Unfortunately, he also learned that if we’re not paying enough attention to him, all he needs to do is pee inside and we’ll drop whatever we’re doing and turn our attention to him. The problem isn’t that he has a small bladder, or that we weren’t taking him out enough. Everything I’ve read says that a puppy his age should be taken out every 3-5 hours, and we had been taking him every 2-3. Sometimes, as Whitney recounted, he’d pee literally a half hour after his last potty break. Read More »

  3. The Bureau of Labor and Statistics now reports a 100,000 net gain in jobs since Obama took office. [shortformblog]

    Neil Young thinks that a triangular-shaped music player with its own proprietary format is actually worth trying to sell. [the verge]

    It seems like Pizza Hut in other countries is always better than here in the US. Pizza Hut Middle East has these tasty looking Kit Kat Pops. [laughing squid]

    Like it or not, Facebook now logs your search history. [the daily dot]

    Up top: Lincoln the English Mastiff doesn’t want to get out of bed. [daily picks and flicks]


  4. devil within poster

    Evil little kids are certainly nothing new to horror films. Pre-pubescent terror goes all the way back to things like The Bad Seed and Village of the Damned. With Roman Polanski’s masterpiece, Rosemary’s Baby, a new and even younger breed of murderous children movie was ushered into the public consciousness: the evil BABY movie. All make, model, and serial number of these movies where a woman carries and gives birth to (literally) the spawn of Satan were produced in the early-70s to capitalize on the worldwide phenomenon of demon newborns and pretty much all of them are stupid. It’s a baby! How could babies be scary? While most of these films dealt with it in terms of the baby having psychic powers, one movie, 1975’s The Devil Within Her, actually has a super strong, violent baby who punches people. I…I really wish it was fake. Read More »

  5. This morning I saw this list of reasons why we all have trust issues, which stood out to me because of how it re-used a concept I just saw on a popular Tumblr post yesterday, but it went uncredited. Shocking, I know. Being that all is apparently fair in love and repackaged internet content, I figured I’d compile a list of 8 people all repackaging the same idea. I didn’t link to anybody though because I just felt like being a dick.


    Read More »

  6. “I have an idea! Let’s see if we can breed a dog with all the aggression of a pit bull, and the unmanageable size of a Great Dane.”

    - Nobody ever

    After having Nathan for just over a week, we can’t believe how big he’s getting. For a puppy that’s not yet 5 months old, he’s huge! Among the stack of papers, one letter contains an interesting caveat: “Your adopted dog is of indeterminate background, and we are making an assumption that this is a pit bull-type dog based on appearance.” Read More »

  7. For best effect, wear stereo headphones when listening to this video. Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake” shares a lot of remarkable similarities to Lenny Kravitz’s “Fly Away.” By simply slowing down “Wide Awake” from 162 bpm down to 160, the two songs fit together flawlessly. The two harmonize well, both switch from chorus to verse to bridge at the same points, and both songs begin and end at the same time. Nothing was cut from either recording to make this work.

  8. nathan water bowl 2

    As chronicled here, here, and here, Chris and I recently adopted a puppy named Nathan. I’ve lived with dogs all my life (I direct you to a video of my family dogs dancing for bacon), so I went into the adoption process knowing that our puppy, no matter the breed or sex, was going to require a fair amount of time and effort. I was not however prepared for the amount of effort little Nathan would require. And with good reason, since Nathan is a Boxer/Pitt Bull mix, and is absolutely everything one would expect from that breed—the good and the…let’s say difficult.

    Read More »

  9. buttchugging

    A University of Tennessee student and member of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity was hospitalized on Saturday with severe alcohol poisoning after rectally ingesting large quantities of boxed wine.

    Unlike the case of the social media intern who died after rectally ingesting bacon, which is a thing I made up one day, this seems to be a thing that might have actually happened. Probably. I don’t know. I didn’t call anybody about it. Read More »

  10. Austere Pursuit: Extreme Tea Kettling [iheartchaos]

    Things that sound grosser than they are: Mannaise is supposed to be Mayo for Men. It could have been much worse. [incredible things]

    Billy Bob: Delightfully southern family adopts a snake with a head on either end of its body. [arbroath]

    We’re all gonna die: the pharmaceutics industry is rife with corruption, but you knew that. [the guardian]

    Up top: GPS Shoes [the daily dot]

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