Modern Primate

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Politics

  1. jezebel racist minors

    If we could only get everyone to use a persistent user identity then we could solve this whole online agression problem, right? As Randi Zuckerberg, sister to Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg once put it:

    “People behave a lot better when they have their real names down. … I think people hide behind anonymity and they feel like they can say whatever they want behind closed doors.”

    Tracie Morrissey’s latest article for Jezebel provides a stark contrast to Zuckerberg’s assertion that persistent identity can act as a behavioral policing mechanism. In the article, Morrissey unapologetically names 12 teenagers who posted racist remarks about the President on Twitter. These 12 students willingly made rude remarks unprovoked, under their real names. None of them felt the need to hide behind any mask of anonymity.

    To be clear, Tracie Morrissey published already-public information. All you need to do is search Twitter for the words “Obama” and “n****r” and you’ll find people saying offensive things. Some use pseudonyms. Others are fully comfortable doing so under their real names, and many of them are minors.

    While nearly anyone is fully capable of using Twitter to find real-life racists being racist under their real names, Morrissey took vigilante justice into her own hands. In addition to their names, many of the teens also listed the schools they attended and the sports teams they played for. So Morrissey contacted the school administrators and coaches to report the students’ conduct. Simply alerting the administrators was reasonable enough, but the way Morrissey publicly shamed these minors is at the very least a moral gray area. Read More »

  2. ill schaden your freude

    In the wake of yesterday’s thorough trouncing of the Lemon Republican Party, people—specifically liberals—have been throwing the word “Schadenfreude” around with finger-tenting aplomb. Shortly after midnight on Election Day, for example, Daily Kos published an image of a bottle of “Tears of Impotent Rage” captioned with the phrase “Drink All You Want” and simply titled “Schadenfreude.” Talking Points Memo proclaimed as much in its November 7 headline, which states that “Liberal Schadenfreude Hits Impossible Heights as Results Pour In,” a point a simple Twitter search of the word immediately confirms.

    But is Schadenfreude all that’s going on here? My vote is for not exactly!!

    Read More »

  3. Donald Trump, Victoria Jackson, and pretty much all the racists and homophobes are REALLY MAD about the election.

    We can't let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided!
    @realDonaldTrump
    Donald J. Trump
    Lets fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.
    @realDonaldTrump
    Donald J. Trump
    I can't stop crying. America died.
    @vicjackshow
    Victoria Jackson
    Thanks a lot Christians, for not showing up. You disgust me.
    @vicjackshow
    Victoria Jackson
    BREAKING: Man Who Told Half the Nation to Fuck Themselves Somehow Loses Election #election #election2012 #vote2012
    @BorowitzReport
    Andy Borowitz
    I guess rape wasn't the surefire campaign issue the Republicans thought it would be.
    @BorowitzReport
    Andy Borowitz

    The Twitter accounts of Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Meat Loaf and other typically outspoken loudmouths have been very quiet.

  4. VOTE

    Hey panty-waists. Did you vote today? NO. I know you didn’t because I didn’t see you post any new Facebook status updates. You didn’t take a picture of your ballot and simul-post it to Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter.

    Well what’s wrong with you? You think you’re too good to tell people you voted? Well I voted. I voted the shit out of this election. I probably set a record for the most awesome voting ever.

    So why didn’t you post about how you voted on your Facebook? Huh? I bet you didn’t even vote. Well listen up, Nancy. Me and my boys are going to come over there and kick your non-voting ass. Fuck you for not voting! Fuck you! I’ll fucking kill you for not voting! GOD I’M SO ANGRY ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T VOTE. GOD DAMN IT! I JUST WANT TO ROUND UP EVERYBODY WHO DIDN’T VOTE AND FORCE THEM TO VOTE! I DON’T EVEN CARE WHO THEY VOTE FOR, THEY’RE FUCKING NANCIES FOR NOT VOTING! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! EVERY OTHER DAY OUT OF THE YEAR I’M TOLD I HAVE TO BE POLITE! I NEVER GET TO BE THE ASSHOLE THAT I WANT TO BE! I NEVER GET TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW ANGRY I AM SO I’M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT RIGHT NOW! IT’S MY TURN TO BE THE SANCTIMONIOUS ASSHOLE! OH MY GOD I’M SO FUCKING ANGRY WHY DIDN’T YOU VOTE WHY GOD DAMN IT FUCKING BALLS SHIT GOD

  5. mad blur

    Once upon a time people bought magazines even when they weren’t going to be on a plane. Most magazines took themselves very seriously, and in effect, most of them sucked. Recognizing an open niche, William Gaines set out to create a new kind of magazine — one that didn’t suck.

    In honor of one of the greatest voices in satirical publishing, here are our 10 favorite spoof ads from Mad Magazine in the late 50s and early 60s.

    Read More »

  6. You guys. Buddhists have come into our country and taken away our freedom of religion. You guys. Buddhists.

  7. During last night’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney made a statement regarding “binders full of women.” Here’s the obligatory fact check on that (SPOILER ALERT: he’s lying), and the obligatory image gallery of funny pictures with words on them generated by Tumblr users.

    Read More »

  8. On Forbes, Tim Worstall uses syphilis and penicillin to argue that technology changes which social mores are considered “acceptable” to explain why so many Redditors seemed to find Violentacrez’ actions defensible in his article We Need a New Set of Manners for the Internet.

    Excremental Virtue explains this “if I can do it, it’s permissible” lapse of logic by saying “Posing for photos constitutes an act for which any and all retaliation and “use” is fair, no matter how private their original contexts—including ex-partners circulating erotic photos, including photos taken of women unawares, including men commenting on and masturbating to them.”

    Aaron Brady makes an excellent point in his article Creepshots and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of ‘Free Speech’ – “when people invoke “free speech” to defend a person’s right to take pictures of unwilling women and circulate those pictures on the internet, they are saying that it is okay to do so.”

    Cranberryzero on I Heart Chaos demonstrates that he has no clue what he’s talking about when he says “when you’re a big enough troll to become both a hero and villain on a site like Reddit, you must be doing something right. The Redditor that goes by the name of Violentacrez has been a Reddit fixture for some time now, operating anonymously… that is until Gawker went and tracked him down.Thoughts? Was it right to out him? At first I thought so, but now, not so much.”

    Over on The Verge lots of commenters are rushing to Reddit’s defense, flubbing details and feebly alleging that Violentacrez was planted by Gawker to make Reddit look bad.

  9. biden bush header

    Hey Geoffrey, have you ever wondered if Joe Biden and Barbara Bush were the same person?

    - What? No. You’re being stupid again.

    Seriously, Geoffrey. Like, have you ever seen them together before?

    - Well, I don’t know, probably not. But they don’t even look anything alike.

    Read More »

  10. I really think I can just let this video speak for itself, right?

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