Modern Primate

man, that's deep

Hi stranger!  ·  Settings  ·  Login  ·  Sign Up Logout

Santorum Slashfic

  1. blingee santorum featured

    Previously on Santorum Slashfic, Matt Roomby brainstormed ideas for reaching out to the mom vote, then settled in with Ricky for some light erotic reading. This week, Ricky flexes his creativity bone. Better make yourself a whiskey sour, Ricky’s a pretty slow worker!

    Just like his advisors suggest, Matt Roomby takes a nice picture for his latest round of mailers in front of an old dilapidated barn, like they used to have in the Depression. In addition to wearing the most worn-in pair of blue jeans he could buy at Nordstrom’s, Matt tries to look a little mean so all the moms will think he is at least one shade of Grey. Research sure pays off sometimes!

    Read More »

  2. 50 shades of romney featured

    Previously on Santorum Slashfic, Ricky learned a valuable lesson about online dating. This week, Ricky tries to make sense of the latest crisis to hit the Romney campaign. Please check your gently used copies of 50 Shades of Grey at the door, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

    Everybody in Matt Roomby’s house keeps talking about the brain capital and Ricky Santorum is very confused! He knows that when a place has a lot of one thing, people sometimes call it the that-thing capital. But if that’s true, how come there are no brains anywhere??

    Read More »

  3. ricky santorum grindr featured

    Previously in Santorum Slashfic, Ricky was settling into his new life as Matt Roomby’s dog Jeff Gordon. This week, Ricky tries to make contact with his long lost friend Michael on Grindr, his new favorite app. Pull up a smart phone and join me, will you?

    Even though he is supposed to be Matt Roomby’s dog Jeff Gordon, Ricky Santorum still carries a smart phone. At first Matt Roomby thought this was strange, and one morning asked Ricky why he always played Bubble Shooter whenever he went to the garden to go poop. “Woof woof,” Ricky said, and Matt Roomba just laughed.

    Read More »

  4. take the activia challenge

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. When we last saw Rick Santorum, he had just found a new career as Mitt Romney’s beloved family dog. Let’s see how he’s getting settled in!

    Read More »

  5. ricky dog featured

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum struggles with his loss, and in the process convinces Mitt Romney that he’s a stray dog!

    Read More »

  6. santorum pulling out

    In what I’m sure comes as a great shock to our readers, I must regretfully report that our favorite GOP Candidate and stinkpot extraordinair Ricky Santorum has announced that he is suspending his campaign for the Presidency.

    In honor of his memory, we’re looking back on all the good times we had together in Santorum Slashfiction.

    The Cone

    Rank Stinktorum Takes a Bath

    The Dark Side of Santorum

    Santorum Takes a Stand

    Ricky Santorum is Bad and Filthy

    Ricky Wear his Bunny Suit

    This is not the end.

    This is not the beginning of the end.

    This is the end of the beginning.

  7. santorum bunny featured image

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum breaks for Easter!

    Read More »

  8. santorum toys

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum says a naughty word and pays the price!

    Read More »

  9. santorum surge

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum takes a righteous stand against pornography himself.

    Read More »

  10. darthsantorum

    So far, the Presidential nomination process has supplied the American people with enough facepalms and uncomfortable laughter to last every man, woman and child well into 2013. Lost in this torrid shitshow has been the subtle art of political slashfic—UNTIL NOW. Each week I’ll select a particular media artifact (a picture, video clip, or ill-conceived comment) and will write a story based on the people, places or things contained therein. Today, Rick Santorum steps in a puddle of HARD TRUTH!

    Read More »

Copyright © 2014 My Damn Channel, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Designed in collaboration with Wondersauce.