Modern Primate

A new summer tradition! Gentlemen, no longer do you need to awkwardly cruise the suburbs and beaches to stare at womens’ breasts as they lay out in the bikinis. Now, you can see the world of vacation privilege from the perspective of BOOBS thanks to a trend COED magazine has called point of boob 

What’s the best view on the beach? Judging from this pic, it seems to be checking out the ocean from the length of Heidi Klum’s body! [...] Any number of accommodating gals have taken the time to whip out their camera (or cellphone) and shoot a pic showing off their amazing curves.

Now, what some people may call empowerment – “good for her rockin that body and claiming her sexy curves” – I call white lady bourgeois privilege. I mean, good for you ladies for having the extra time outside of work to both tan AND get a rockin’ bod [in w/e order]. Oh, and notice how every woman in the slide show is a) white, b) skinny, c) boobs? Yeah, I did. If there is one ideal that is most exclusionary in our conceptions of beauty, it’s definitely white-ness. And, don’t give me any of this “but she’s tan” crap. A white woman with a tan is simply a white woman… with a tan. White privilege is still white privilege, even at the beach!

BUT, THAT’S NOT ALL – it appears that there is a tad bit of controversy going on. Some of the women have been surprised to find themselves on the site, not at all intending for the picture of their bodyscape to be part of the picture.

Case in point:

As of posting, the image remains 56 weeks later.

Yes, empowerment. Someone tell this woman she doesn’t know she’s being empowered, would you?!

In conclusion, thanks for joining the point-of-boob club Heidi Klum, but plz get your boobs out of the way of the ocean. It’s a pretty beach scene. People should want to be there with you because you’re a nice lady, and staked out a pretty AWESOME spot on the beach (which may or may not be private). Not simply because you’ve embraced your own objectification as a sex object.