Modern Primate

New Yorkers tend to think pretty highly of their fair city. “If it exists, you can find it in New York,” they say. But if you’ve grown up anywhere else and eventually found yourself transplanted to NYC, you’ll know this amounts to little more than a load of self-congratulatory bullshit. I mean, there’s definitely a wide variety of options, but there just as many things overlooked. West coast favorites like In-N-Out Burger get no love from the Empire State.

And while nearly every single “flyover state” gets to enjoy culinary wonders like the not-at-all Mexican Potato Olé from Taco John’s, the not-at-all Norwegian Vicky’s Norwegian Dills from Gedney, and the Nerds Blizzard from Dairy Queen, New Yorkers are stuck with Taco Bell, some spiceless garbage barrel pickles that range only from sour to extra sour, and the completely overrated il laboratorio del gelato.

Well, that last point is finally, FINALLY being rectified, as Dairy Queen has announced that they’ll soon be opening three or four new locations in New York this coming year.

While some may worry that this is an example of the continuing trend of middle-American chains squeezing out supposedly authentic New York culture, it’s worth noting that Dairy Queen has locations in China, Japan, Indonesia,  the UAE, Egypt, Mexico, Kuwait, Ireland, and more. If anything, this is an example of New York finally getting onboard with an international staple that they’ve ignored for far too long.

Oh, and before I forget… If your only idea of an ice cream cake is one of those monstrosities from Carvels… then you have no concept of what you’re missing out on. The chocolate cookie crunch layer on top of the fudge layer on top of the chocolate ice cream layer all wrapped inside vanilla ice cream will make you look at Carvels, laugh, and simply ask “why do they even try?”

EAT IT.