I never thought I’d be so happy to see my girlfriend bring home a bag full of severed penises. Nathan, our four-month-old puppy had been particularly restless this morning, leaving Whitney and I desperate to find a way to keep him occupied while we tried to get our work done. After being interrupted for the umpteenth time, Whitney excused herself to go to the local pet supply store to buy Nathan his favorite, long-lasting chew snacks.
Bully sticks, also known as pizzles (from the low German pesel and not the old Snoop shizzle) are a great, low-fat, high-protein, high-fiber snack for dogs. Don’t get me wrong, they look and smell disgusting, as do the lamb lungs and pigs ears that most dogs also enjoy. But the average bully stick takes Nathan nearly four hours to finish! It’s like the perfect pacifier, once you can get past the fact that your dog is literally devouring a penis.
Anyway, if you’d like to buy a bag of dicks- er- pizzles, you can go here. If you’d like to hear Louis CK’s standup routine about sucking a bag of dicks, go here, and to hear a music promo for the unfortunately-named yet still pretty good rapper Pizzle, go here.