Modern Primate

A University of Tennessee student and member of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity was hospitalized on Saturday with severe alcohol poisoning after rectally ingesting large quantities of boxed wine.

Unlike the case of the social media intern who died after rectally ingesting bacon, which is a thing I made up one day, this seems to be a thing that might have actually happened. Probably. I don’t know. I didn’t call anybody about it.

According to knoxnews.com, police determined that others at the frat house had also ingested wine rectally, so we can safely call this a dangerous trend. Even if you don’t think your kid has ever had a drop of alcohol, you should absolutely warn them about the dangers of buttchugging. Do it now, before it’s too late.