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In this age of internet, does anyone know how to do it anymore?? To prepare for a strong mount, it’s important to make someone feel good and comfortable and safe. Make sure to take care of that. Clear some space. You’re going to need some room for proper technique. Also, be mindful of your neighbors. All that hammering around can be inconsiderate if done at odd hours.

You need to let the lady in your life know that you care. And nothing says “I care” like a portrait of her face. Mounted on your wall. Your real wall. None of this social media nonsense. A Do and Don’t for your next DIY mount:

DON’T

Don’t frame this one, or any other Myspace equivalents. It’s not worth the matting.

DO

Double-framed AND a flag pose? Successful mount.

See the difference? So mount away. You thought this was going to be about sex, didn’t you? Mount. Pffft.

How to Treat a Lady provides sensual advice every Friday. Brought to you by KK & Tien of Ladiez Home Journal, who both solemnly swear to No Dumb Girl Crap.

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