North Carolina may have voted against gay marriage, but according to Fox Nation, the President has declared war on marriage!
Do you know what this means?
In order to comply with the new Socialist mandate, all marriages will be deemed invalid unless they are gay marriages. All straight couples must divorce and remarry members of the same sex because that’s how that works. So if you’re a man married to a woman, kiss her goodbye. It’s time for you to shack up with a dude if you want to keep your benefits.
Well I for one will not go quietly. I’ve been preparing for the all out collapse of society for months! I’ve got my shelter stocked up with beef jerky and ammunition, ready to weather the storm! LET’S DO THIS! HALLELUJAH!
[update 15:48 PST]
I’ve just been informed that allowing people of the same sex to marry each other does not mean that opposite sex couples will be forced to do anything differently. This only means that the president believes same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights as opposite sex couples. Carry on.