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An attempt at viral fame ended in tragedy Monday when a 22 year-old social media intern took his love of internet humor too far.

Joshua Flaherty of New Brunswick, NJ passed away at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital late Monday night due to Sepsis, a bacterial infection resulting from a gastrointestinal perforation, following the rectal insertion of precisely 10 pounds of hickory smoked bacon.

“Josh had a really big heart, and he just loved giving people what they wanted,” said Flaherty’s mother Linda. “When he told me about the project, I thought to myself, Josh is a smart kid and he’s made good at this Internet thing so far. What could go wrong?”

Not everyone who knew Joshua was so confident of his abilities.

“I blame Reddit,” stated Sheila, childhood friend and next door neighbor of the Flahertys. “Every time someone posts something with bacon on it, people act like it’s the greatest thing, like they’ve never seen obscene amounts of bacon before. It’s like, look, I get it. Bacon is good. That’s objectively true. No one is saying that it isn’t. It’s just that there’s no need to fake an orgasm every time someone posts a picture of bacon. But with Josh… you just couldn’t tell him when enough was enough. As long as the Internet patronizes this kind of behavior, showering people with upvotes for bacon, people like [Joshua] will take it to new extremes.”

Another friend who wishes to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation from other message board members had this to say:

“Before going through with it, Josh confided in me that he didn’t even really like bacon that much. He said that if he had to choose between bacon and Werther’s Originals, he’d take the Werther’s. But what Josh really loved was internet memes. So in a sense, he loved the idea of bacon, and the Internet’s obsession with bacon, more than life itself.”

While obsessive bacon fandom is common on websites like Reddit, the practice isn’t exclusive to the web. The 1994 sketch comedy show The State famously featured a bit in which Robert Ben Garant stated “I eat bacon every day,” before donning a dress made of bacon, ending in a musical number about bacon.

Although the video of Joshua’s world record setting insertion of 10 pounds of bacon was taken down from Youtube before most had a chance to see it, many don’t see it as a complete loss. According to his mother, ”[the video] may be gone, but Josh’s story will live on. And in that way, he’ll live forever.”

Note: What you have just read is a work of satire, created for the sake of manipulating gullible media outlets into reporting it as fact, meanwhile voicing how disinterested the author is in the overzealous meme that bacon has become. None of this actually happened.

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There are currently 59 Comments on “Man Ingests 10 lbs of Bacon Rectally, Dies”. Perhaps you would like to add one of your own?

  1. That is fucking hilarious and I have no pity. It was a stupid death for a stupid reason which he really wasn’t all up in arms about anyway. Someone died in pursuit of upvotes and that alone is absurd and funny enough that I made an account for the sole purpose of saying so.

    • Death is funny. When you die, I will fucking fucking fucking cry an ocean of laughter because your pathetical fucking fucking fucking life has ended and life will improved much bettered without you. Notice how I did not force d fucking fucking fucking,

      Nobody cares if you signed up with italics, so fuck off.

      And fuck bacon, it’s shit, and fuck reddit because the losers/users there are annoying fanatics that won’t shut the fuck up about their grease inducing(not that it matters) bacon. Fuck redditors, and eat a cow.

      • I love how you assume I’m from reddit and lose your shit right away, or even that I like reddit. There is literally no insult that is as biting as simply telling you to look at what you typed out. I pity you.

        May you find peace, you poor creature.

  2. Reddit is everything to blame, the annoying citizens there are fucked up beyond belief. Their constant of emitting endless of foul odors of memes are enough to conjure everyone that has fought for freedom of speech barged their door and behead those crazed redditors. Ok, I’ll admit, that is funny, but sad.

    They won’t put up a fight unless they are near a keyboard, for which they channel their energy into electronic comments which is what the redditors use as their weapons, but whether it is a long “thoughtful”/rant littered with words “bullsh*t”(damn it, I can’t even use that word because they exhaust it dry) which to them are magical charms, or a short burst reference of a meme or anything that is goes without saying, it wouldn’t save their heads meeting with the blades.

    Fuck reddit users.

  3. This is no ones fault but his own stupid ass! It’s morons like this that think shoving 10Lbs of bacon up their ass is a GOOD idea, that will be the death of our society. Whatever happened to some common damn sense. What’s the old adage? “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” Apparently, this dumb shit would!

    I have no pity or sympathy. This moron did it to himself, and the fact that his mother is ok with it, is even more telling. This one deserved to die off before procreating and I’ll issue him his Darwin Award!

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