Modern Primate

As a man who likes women, I’m a big fan of vaginas. I like them a lot. But that doesn’t mean that I think I’m an expert on how they should and shouldn’t be used. No, I tend to think that women are better experts on their general maintenance and upkeep than I could ever hope to be.

Well, a bunch of other dudes in the Michigan House of Representatives fancy themselves as vagina police. On top of passing two anti-abortion bills yesterday, they’ve told Democratic Representatives Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum that, despite having made excellent points, they’re not allowed to talk for the rest of the day because of their use of the anatomically correct word “vagina.”

The story is current but the rationale is ancient. A lot of Christians feel like abortion is murder. One might think that their interpretations of their religious beliefs would be all that they need in order to govern their own behaviors. In other words, if you think abortion is wrong, then don’t get an abortion. But there are those righteous crusaders who believe that they’re saving lives by making decisions for others. The most obvious problem here was spelled out quite effectively by Rep. Brown.

Judaism believes that therapeutic abortions, namely, abortions performed in order to preserve the life of the mother, are not only permissable, but mandatory. The stage of pregnancy does not matter. Wherever there is a question of the life of the mother, or that of the unborn child, Jewish Law rules in favor of preserving the life of the mother. The status of the fetus as human life does not equal that of the mother.

I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs. Why are you asking me to adopt yours? And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.

In reaction, plenty of regular folks like you and me have taken to twitter to give @MIHouseGOP all the vagina they could have ever hoped and dreamed for.