Modern Primate

Oh my God, Geoffrey.

- What is it, sir?

My lunch, Geoffrey. It. Is. So. Damn. Good.

- Oh, you visited the Halal cart down the street, eh?

Mmm. Mmmhmmm. First halal cart meal I’ve had in ages. I can’t believe I forgot how good this is. You know, I used to eat a halal cart gyro almost every other day when I first moved to New York.

- That’s cool. Maybe you could do a Photoshop post of what it would look like if all the lamb over rice turned into Miley Cyrus.

Why would I do that?

- As like, a follow-up to the ice cream Bruce Willis thing?

Ice cream Bruce Willis made perfect sense. Lamb ove rice Miley Cyrus is just stupid.

- How is that any stupider than Bruce Willis Ice Cream?!

Think about it for a second, Geoffrey. Bruce Willis has a round, bald head. It’s practically shaped like a scoop of ice cream. Add to that how much people look like they enjoy licking ice cream. Then think of how silly it would look for people to enjoy licking a tiny, hand-held Bruce Willis head. It just fucking works. Plus, people all over the country know what icecream is.

- Everyone knows what lamb over rice is.

No, not really, Geoffrey. New Yorkers have an idea of lamb over rice because we have halal carts all over the place and they all serve basically the same thing. That’s just not the case in the midwest.

- Okay. So hot dogs then. Everybody knows what a hot dog is. What about if all the hot dogs turned into Miley Cyrus?

Geoffrey. Were you even listening to me about the parallel between Bruce Willis’ head and a scoop of ice cream?

- Well I don’t know what celebrities resemble hot dogs! Let’s just pick a name from Google Hot Trends and be done with it! Johnny Depp.

You want me to Photoshop up a bunch of kids eating Johnny Depp wieners?

- Sure, why not?

Come on, Geoffrey. That’s just silly.