Modern Primate

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Posts Tagged “social media”

  1. bf guide to pinterest header

    Pinterest has grown quickly to become the 3rd largest social network on the web, and has a user base that’s over 80% women. So what does this mean for men, and for that matter, for women?
    Read More »

  2. Hi, Geoffrey.

    - Uh, hey… sir. How’s it going?

    You want to know the worst part about being a former smoker, Geoffrey?

    - Not really, no.

    It’s the fact that no matter where you go in this filth-covered city there’s somebody blowing smoke in your direction. You can’t get away from it. You can’t walk down the street without getting stuck behind a smoker. So there’s this constant reminder of cigarettes. Meanwhile, my former smoker self still exists in muscle memory somewhere, like a phantom hiding between my muscle fibers, twitching as he waits for a chance to seize control. All I can do is feel the muscles in my torso tense, my nostrils flare, my breathing become forced, and I murder the smoker in my mind.

    - You’re kind of weird, you know that?

  3. gangnam snl

    Geoffrey, can you come in here for a minute?

    - Yes.

    Geoffrey, I’ve got this problem. It’s about Gangnam Style.

    - Gangnam Style is huge! Don’t tell me you’ve got a problem with Gangnam Style.

    Well… I mean, it’s well-produced. And I get that it’s supposed to be humorous. But like, I don’t know anything about the Gangnam District. I’ve never been to South Korea. I don’t speak Korean. So when I watch the video, like, I feel like I’m missing most of what’s going on.

    - Why should that matter? Did you see the SNL sketch? Read More »

  4. - Hey boss.


    - You’re still in the tub?

    Uh huh.

    - Wanna talk about the 9/11 conspiracy theories people are Tweeting about?


    - Wanna talk about the models spotted wearing Google Goggles and whether or not that will help people get used to being seen wearing the awkward device?


    - Wanna talk about the Impossible Projects instant film camera that works like an old Polaroid strapped onto an iPhone?


    - Wanna talk about this video that claims to provide the original context of a bunch of well known memes, while actually providing nothing about the circumstances under which those memes came to acquire meaning?

    God no.

    - Wanna talk about Chris Brown getting Rihanna’s battered face tattooed onto his neck?

    What, what?  Read More »

  5. International street artist ABOVE created this awesome video commentary on the supposed importance of social networks like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Watch it. Enjoy it. Then share it on your Facebook wall so that all your friends will know how above it all you are. Pin it on Pinterest while you’re at it.

    [via thecuriousbrain]

  6. internet
    B.J. Mendelson is a former marketer, former new media director for a nationally syndicated TV program, and author of the upcoming book Social Media is Bullshit, available in Barnes and Noble and on Amazon September 4th.

    I’ve been writing stupid things on the Internet since 1998, and in that time it’s rare for me to have a story I haven’t told anyone before. So, you’re in for a treat. I want to tell you about a beautiful woman named Ashley, the biggest disappointment in my life, and how a fantasy I have explains why the myth of social media persists long after its debut in 2007.

    In 2002, I took a year off from Alfred State College because my first year was … not a pleasant experience. Mostly for reasons I documented in Social Media Is Bullshit.

    Returning to Alfred State was not high on my list of things to do. At the time, I would have rather been anally penetrated by Wolverine’s adamantium claws, but then I met Ashley and all was right in the world.

    Ashley was absolutely beautiful, and I was in love with her the moment I saw her. Unfortunately, I spent most of my life being functionally retarded, so my attempts to get her to pay any attention to me were met with horrible and hilarious failure.

    (On the upside, I did get a sweet cat out of this mess, but that’s a whole other story.)

    For a brief moment though, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel. The last day of school had arrived, and after numerous attempts to get Ashley to hang out to me, Ashley called and left a message on my answering machine saying she wanted to do so.

    And for a few seconds, I felt amazing. Like I was proclaimed king of the world, having earned that crown after strangling Jack from Titanic with some razor wire I found in the street.

    But as it goes with anything in my life, as soon as something amazing happens, something even worse immediately follows. This happens almost like clockwork, so much so that I can safely predict that if my book hits The New York Times Best Sellers list, you can bet I’ll be dead the next day. Probably smothered in my own feces by a crazed social media marketer seeking revenge.

    Read More »

  7. How to Treat a Lady thumbs down

    That old adage about having the same interests as your lady of interest could not be truer than on the hallowed pages of THE social network. Facebook likes are pretty much the same thing as your real life activities/preferences/dreams/affinities.

    So how do you do it? Your liking of her likes. As “like” experts and Facebook referees, we’ve seen some interesting patterns. Read on to find out what you’re saying about yourself with every little digital thumbs-up.

    • The following is a transcript of your thoughts. Verbatim. “Oh, what’s that? She had an apple today? LIKE. You know what? I do like that picture of you and your mom in front of the Mall of America. LIKE. Why look at that? Her friend said exactly what I wanted to say about her. LIKE. Oh, I didn’t know she was into pizza. I LIKE pizza!!! She likes breathing air?!?! I LIKE BREATHING AIR!!!” Maybe you’re a little too generous with your likes. Or maybe you think Facebook is a game of Wack-a-Mole because you like everything that appears in your field of vision. Or maybe you are: Boring Read More »
  8. new digg first look

    The New Digg v1 went live yesterday afternoon after six weeks of development. The new, stripped-down interface looks nice and simple. On first glance, the general layout is not unlike

    As mentioned in the rethinkdigg preview post, there are three main content viewing categories: Top Stories, Popular, and Upcoming. What I didn’t expect was the way all three categories are present on the same page. Click on each simply scrolls the page down to the middle for Popular, and near the bottom for Upcoming.

    Currently, I only count 16 Top Stories, 7 Popular Stories, and 18 Upcoming stories with no option to explore these categories any deeper. What’s on the front page is all you get.

    Most disappointingly is the inability to see where your own submissions go. I submitted three stories and was greeted with a message confirming that the submission was successful before being returned to the front page. After clicking on “Upcoming” the new posts were nowhere to be found.

    Likely it’s too soon to judge.

    Read More »

  9. Now Hiring: Design Zombies, Social Media Vampire RT @: Startups that are hiring ninja, rockstars, gurus should be afraid of culture clash
    Tim Hwang

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