Modern Primate

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Oh my gosh everybody, were you watching the debates when [EVENT] happened? No, I wasn’t either, but I was on [SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE]. My feed totally blew up when [CANDIDATE] [VERBED] that [NOUN]. Everything I saw was either a .gif of [CANDITATE] [VERBING], or something from meme generator with [CANDIDATE] all like “[CAPTION].” The whole thing was so [ADJECTIVE]! Even my [OLD PERSON] posted something about it. I was like, [OLD PERSON], how did you hear about [EVENT]?? It only happened 5 minutes ago! And [OLD PERSON] was like, “I follow [CORPORATE MEDIA OUTLET] on [SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE]. Can you believe that [CANDIDATE] really [VERBED]?” I was like “[INITIALISM]“!

Also, did you see how [CORPORATE MEDIA OUTLET] immediately posted about how [EVENT] was the latest cool meme, and linked to all the examples on [BUZZFEED ARTICLE]? I just saw that link on [SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE], and posted it to my [OTHER SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE]. I hope it doesn’t upset my [POLITICAL PARTY] friends! Just kidding I don’t have any [POLITICAL PARTY] friends.

By the way, do you know who won the debate? I was too busy making #[CAPTION] jokes. [INITIALISM][PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE/VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE] 2012!!!!!!!

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