Some of the most productive conversations I’ve ever had come from talking to my youth advisor/house cat Geoffrey. Today, Geoffrey helped me to better understand how to utilize YOLO in regard to three point-of-purchase scenarios.
Geoffrey, could you come in here when you get a chance?
- Yes, sir, what is it?
Geoffrey, what do you make of this YOLO word the kids are using lately?
- You only live-
Once, yes, you only live once, I know what it stands for Geoffrey.
- Then what seems to be the problem, sir?
The problem, Geoffrey, is that I can’t seem to figure out which situations warrant the use of a YOLO and which don’t.
- You’re serious?
Do I look like I’m joking, Geoffrey? Keeping up to date on the lexicon of the youth is essential in today’s social media marketplace.
- So, you are serious then?
*sigh* Geoffrey. Help me out. I’m at the store and I’m presented with a choice between a Sprite and a Diet Sprite. I choose the regular Sprite. Is this YOLO?
- Um, sure, I guess.
Fantastic! Now how about this one? I’m at the gas pump-
- And you choose Premium over regular and unleaded?
Yes, that’s right.
- Sure, YOLO works there too.
Great! Now how about this? You’ve purchased a new mattress, and the tag keeps rubbing your feet the wrong way. Now, you know you’re not supposed to remove it-
- Actually, that’s a myth. It usually says the tag isn’t supposed to be removed except by the consumer. That consumer is usually you.
But.. Suppose you don’t know that…
- Everybody knows that nowadays, sir.
But… Supposing they didn’t…
- Yes! Fine! Ripping the tag off your mattress is a YOLO. Is that what you want to hear?
What I want to hear, Geoffrey, is whether or not I’m using a word in a manner convincing to our target demographic. Now, you open the fridge and find soda, OJ, purple stuff and Sunny D. You choose the Sunny D. Is this YOLO?
- Sir, it… it doesn’t really work like-
It’s a simple question, Geoffrey! Is this YOLO or isn’t it?
- No, sir, this is not YOLO.
And why not?!
- It just… I mean… It’s supposed to imply that you’ve chosen the more enjoyable option, throwing caution to the wind, living dangerously, that sort of thing.
Have you tasted Sunny D next to the leading juice drinks?
It’s fucking incredible. Like the nectar of the gods.
- So you’ve decided Sunny D is also worth a YOLO, then?
Yes, no thanks to you.