It’s been a wonderful two weeks of athletic feats! Like, forget-that-you-should-be-working-and-not-streaming-the-olympics-at-your-desk-cheering kind of wonderful. As regular folk, it’s always inspiring to see what the human body is capable of. And you know what!? There’s a little bit of Olympian in all of us. Read More »
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Rom-knee-yourself-in-the-face, you’ve just been gaffing it up in the Olympic-related area left and right, haven’t you? Listen, Rom-a-lom, you can’t just toss out insults without reasonable analyses or constructive criticisms. Also, Rom-a-loma-dong-dong, you have this platform to address some serious global issues during one of the most highly anticipated/televised events. But instead, you’ve chosen to make some mean girl remarks about our foreign
Anglo brethrenpolitical allies. You know, Tiffany did that to Stacey once, and then everyone hated Tiffany, and then she lost the race for class president. Read More »
One of the hardest things about dating, aside from making time for someone else, being responsible for that person’s feeling, and sharing your life with them, is answering the question, “WHAT ARE WE?!??!”
Women take snacking very, very seriously. Before we put anything in our mouths, we always ask, “Does this align with our values? Our family values?” (Reminder: all women are mothers.) Well, that answer was a strong, “NO!” when we came across this little gem from the Nabisco family… pfff family. No family company would ever make something like this:
You guys, it’s a rainbow Oreo cookie! Are you freaked out yet? Why aren’t you freaked out yet?! Don’t you know what this means? Rainbow = Gay. Gay = Rainbow. Rainbow Oreo = Gay Oreo. Gay Oreo = Gay Snacking. You are what you eat. You eat that Oreo and you’re going to become a gay. *slaps cookie out of hand* Don’t eat that! That’s how they get you! Phew. Okay, listen, if you want to keep you, your lady and your children safe: Never taste the rainbow.
Luckily, this was just a temporary photoshopped stunt, so Oreos are safe for consumption again… but what about the foods that are always rainbowed?
Remember when you showed up on the doorstep of the woman you had a crush on and recited a moving piece of poetry to her and she fell in love with you. No? You’ve never done that? You should probably do that.
In this age of internet, does anyone know how to do it anymore?? To prepare for a strong mount, it’s important to make someone feel good and comfortable and safe. Make sure to take care of that. Clear some space. You’re going to need some room for proper technique. Also, be mindful of your neighbors. All that hammering around can be inconsiderate if done at odd hours.
According to important scientific literature, millennial men are totally into cooking. GASP. Men in the kitchen, you say??? It’s true. Well, at least for the 24-year-old male mice used in this study…you should have seen their tiny cage kitchens! And their knife skills! That’s how Science works, right?
A war on women? War on women! Women’s war. The ol’ womanly war. Le Waré. What is this “War on Women”? Is it a new mud wrestling tournament? Or a new action movie starring Gina Carano? Because everyone is talking about it and no one is explaining sides or mechanics or anything. And AskJeeves has no answers. What’s a concerned dude to do?